As this thread points out there are all sorts of things that can happen in an adoption - both good and bad. I feel very strongly that you need an experienced case worker between you and the birth mom and birth dad too now.  They know the ropes as far as legal and the emotional end of things. The agency also makes sure that this is not a baby for profit deal as you are afraid of.

We have always worked through an agency either Catholic Social Services or Children's Home and Aid society.  Other denominations such as Lutheran Social Services probably also have adoption services. I would really shy away from the private lawyer type adoptions.

I don't remember the costs which means they were not all that significant. But this was years ago - our 5 adopted kids range in age from 35 down to 14 right now. Since we already had biological children the situation with the agencies was a bit different.

The adoption process has changed over the years. Initially the agency and caseworkers picked what they thought was the best home for the child. The last time the agency basically puts together a catalog of families looking to adopt and the birth mom chooses from the group. There are also so many more legal issues to be resolved such as the birth father relinquishing rights. If these are not properly taken care of they can be nightmares years later.

One thing about adopted versus biological children I would like to add to this discussion. We used to get asked about our feelings about bio vs adopted kids. And from long experience I can say that once they are part of your family there is no difference in how we feel about our kids. We used to tell all of our kids when they were young that God brings families together in different ways, some babies come from the hospital, some babies come from the airport, how you came to us really does not matter at all.

Adopting a child or placing a child for adoption is not a financial decision at all. Agencies have expenses to cover but I think they have a sliding scale based on income. I do think a good neutral agency, looking out for the rights of everyone involved, is a very important part of a successful adoption. jmho.

Jim at Dawn