I am not in a position to add much to the above thoughtful suggestions except one point: the main learning you need to know is financial. What is a balance sheet, what is an income statement, what is cash flow, what is an asset and a liability, what is an expense, what is inventory.... We can be farmers, agronomists, geneticists, seed dealers, cattlemen, run a gas station, do custom harvesting or any type of business person but the basics of any business are the finances.

Maybe you are familiar with these terms, maybe not.  Learning the basics of general accounting, then maybe getting into the particulars of farm type accounting will equip you to understand the farm's position, the bank's position and to possibly help.  Banks like to work with people that understand profit and loss.  Sounds like some accounting knowledge may be helpful in your situation, if you can eventually get some truthful numbers on where things currently stand in your operation.  As bleak as things may or may not be, if you know the truth you can probably plan and work out of it. Going along blindly is almost always fatal.  If you can eventually get the respect and support of the FIL & MIL you may actually be the catalyst that helps the farm survive.

Best of luck to you and your husband.

Jim at Dawn