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C IL | Sounds like you have a complicated situation. In the BIG BIG BIG picture, I suggest you try to view this as only a test of a very stressful period in your (and your Husband's) life. In the very short run, I would highly suggest to save a few dollars regularly for what I call "pinch points" that are sure to come. I call a "pinch point" a time when the circumstances converge making a particularly difficult event. For example, your husband's farm income sources run out. You will need this money for YOUR FAMILY to buy groceries and keep going. You take the first $50 - or more of each of your paychecks in cash and save it in the house. This is NOT going out to eat money, nor birthday present money. Prepare yourself for a sustained period of time for this to play out. You already don't get any respect, and you very likely won't ever for a long time - perhaps never. Find a friend or an activity (non-farm) for some escape time (very low cost).
From your comments, it appears the bank is "in charge" of your In-Laws farm. This is generally not a good sign, and may not work out best for anyone, including the bank. Likely, an outside event will cause action. This could be the bank failing to "renew" the operating note. It could be sickness or death (from stress?) of an in-law. It could be an accident on the farm from a stressed worker. And it may not happen right away.
Likely, your In-laws worked hard their entire lives, and perhaps have been unable to adapt to recent ag/farming changes. Much more money is needed now to pay expenses. Better marketing/selling skills are needed. Your In-Laws may be very frustrated that their 40+ years of hard work are no longer adequate to sustain the farm. The In-Laws may feel your Husband lacks some skills that they perceive that they have. Clearly, a time is coming when age / health issues will force a change in the farm.
As a consultant in the 1980's, I found that most situations were viewed as Black or White, never a shade of gray. As an optimist, I suggest you support your husband as much as possible and look for the shade of gray where you and /or he can make an additional contribution for the good of the farm.
I appreciate your quest for knowledge. A successful farmer is a melting pot of information gleaned from neighbors, education, experience, etc. You will be hard pressed to find a single source of knowledge for farming. Reading the farm magazines will get your started.
I predict that you can save yourself and perhaps your husband - and - in the BIG BIG picture - that may be quite an accomplishment.
Good Luck! | |
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What's "normal"?
