My mother cooked like 95h's. I couldn't understand how all the other kids didn't like hot lunch at school. I still don't like beef roast-when she made it, shoe leather would have been like prime rib by comparison. The only thing she could make that actually tasted good was Jello.

Then I got married. It's like I died and went to heaven. My wife can make shoe leather round steak into a tender, melt-in-your-mouth delicacy. I can cook if I have to, but she can cook circles around me.