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north central Oklahoma | Didn't really intend to get anyone's hair to stand on end, just thought it was funny. I bought it too until the end, but the whole time was thinking, what a dolt, we have CSI today, they will figure this out, What does he think he can get away with, with all the technology and paper/computer tracking that we have.
Hows about this one then. Thought it was a hoot too, and I am sure we have all had visions like this to remedy to world of some problems. Although there were some well deserving politicians left out of the mix
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You're invisible, invulnerable, and leave no trace for one day - What's your agenda?
I need a 3-day pack, two silenced .22s, a Mad Dog Taiho, an icepick, and a vintage Gonzales "187" sap.
0000: Visit Megan Fox's bedroom. Bust a nut on her forehead.
0005: Al Sharpton's bedroom. Icepick in ear. Stir.
0010: Sarah Brady's house. Write suicide note, start car in garage.
0030: Home Depot. Pick up stump grinder, cordless router, and a gallon of muriatic acid.
0040: Lon Horiuchi's house. Use stump grinder, cordless router, and muriatic acid. Admire my handiwork.
0100: I visit this guy I worked with right out of college. Smash his grape with the 187. If his wife is still alive, smash her grape too just for meanness.
0130: Ft. Knox. Grab four gold ingots and toss in my ruck.
0200: Ahmadinejad's house. Slam the Taiho into his solar plexus and split him open like a lobster on a plate.
0230: Arizona. Steal a car. Let Howard Fish out of jail. Give him a gold brick, a .22, and a map to the border.
0315: Washington. Pass out hugs and rainbow thoughts to all deserving folks.
0600: New York. I meet Chuckie just as he's coming down to cawfee, and smash his supercilious grin in with the Gonzales sap.
0630: Norma's in the Parker for breakfast. I need some bagels and lox. Or maybe the french toast.
0730: Chicago. Some politician is just getting to work. I garrote him with my belt, then hang him from his closet doorknob with HIS belt. Pull his pants down, pull up buttsecks.com on his monitor. Done.
0900: Have an idea: Hospital pharmacy. Pick up a big bottle of Anectine and a few syringes.
0930: Saba. Lay on the beach for an hour or so and catch a nap.
1030: Delta Gamma house, UCLA. Sit on the toilet in the bathroom and spank invisible monkey to whoever's taking a shower. Nut on her back, then laugh maniacally when she feels it.
1130-1300: Home. Visit obscure, deserving local figures and dispense Anectine. Titrate to effect. Begin with the nursing home administrator that allowed my dad to sit for 21 hours in his own **** a month ago.
1330: Back to New York. U.N. Headquarters. A symphonic masterpiece of slaughter ensues - Violent beatings with the 187 are accented with paralytic gasps for breath from lungs that will not obey, stabs from the icepick, and eviscerations with the Mad Dog.
1600: Stop by Luca's for a slice on the way out of the city.
1600-1700: Kim Jong Il. Hmmm.. Asphyxiation, or exsanguination? Choices, choices.
1800-1930: Gold. Lots and lots of gold. Put in several secure places.
2000-2130: Japan. Kobe steaks and a handjob. Get real katana while I'm there.
2200-2240: Iraq. Again. Somebody's gonna pay. With a head.
2245-2358: It's time to drink. Scotland, Laphroaig distillery.
0000: Home in bed.
Whew. I'm tired.
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2 murdered at Walmart, ....not surprised..?
