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fitzgerald ga | The Darwin Awards - 2009
> >
> > Yes, it's that magical time of year again when the
> > Darwin Awards are bestowed, honoring the least evolved among
> > us.
> >
> > Here is the glorious winner:
> >
> > 1. When his 38 caliber revolver failed to fire at his
> > intended victim during a hold-up in Long Beach , California
> > would-be robber James Elliot did something that can only
> > inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried the
> > trigger again. This time it worked.
> >
> >
> > And now, the honorable mentions:
> >
> > 2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a
> > meat cutting machine and after a little shopping around,
> > submitted a claim to his insurance company. The company
> > expecting negligence sent out one of its men to have a look
> > for himself. He tried the machine and he also lost a finger.
> > The chef's claim was approved.
> >
> > 3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for
> > his car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his
> > vehicle to find a woman had taken the space. Understandably,
> > he shot her.
> >
> > 4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a
> > Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he
> > was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had
> > escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver
> > went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there
> > a free ride.. He then delivered the passengers to the mental
> > hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very
> > excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception
> > wasn't discovered for 3 days.
> >
> > 5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from
> > serious head wounds received from an oncoming train. When
> > asked how he received the injuries, the lad told police that
> > he was simply trying to see how close he could get his head
> > to a moving train before he was hit.
> >
> > 6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill
> > on the counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened
> > the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the
> > cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The
> > man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20
> > bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from
> > the drawer.... $15. [If someone points a gun at you and
> > gives you money, is a crime committed?]
> >
> > 7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He
> > decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a
> > liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted
> > the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window.
> > The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on
> > the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window
> > was made of Plexiglas.. The whole event was caught on
> > videotape.
> >
> > 8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store,
> > a man grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911
> > immediately, and the woman was able to give them a detailed
> > description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the police
> > apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove
> > back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car
> > and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he
> > replied, "Yes, officer, that's her. That's the
> > lady I stole the purse from."
> >
> > 9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man
> > walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti , Michigan at 5 A.M.,
> > flashed a gun, and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down
> > because he said he couldn't open the cash register
> > without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the
> > clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The
> > man, frustrated, walked away. [*A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD
> > WINNER]
> >
> > 10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor
> > home parked on a Seattle Street , he got much more than he
> > bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find a very
> > sick man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage.
> > A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to
> > steal gasoline, but he plugged his siphon hose into the
> > motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the
> > vehicle declined to press charges saying that it was the
> > best laugh he'd ever had.
> >
> >
> > In the interest of bettering mankind, please share these
> > with friends and family....unless of course one of these
> > individuals by chance is a distant relative or long lost
> > friend. In that case, be glad they are distant and hope they
> > remain lost.
> >
> > *** Remember.... They
> > walk among us!!!***
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