Well Jake, my more or less neighbor, I guess like the Coca Cola Santa commercial, you don’t exist as a real farmer anymore.  

Please surrender all of your Farmer cards and exit The Farmer Matrix before Agent FeatherFarmer Smith deletes you.  

You can now reveal to NAT that you are secretly a Han Chinese billionaire hanging out on a yacht with a couple of programmers locked in cages belowdecks running high-frequency trading algorithms to screw with global grain markets.  Can I get a job as the yacht poolboy?  I’ll need 3 assistants, 360 days of vacation per year, and I’ll probably eat all of your fancy food in the galley but we can have fun shooting clay pigeons off of the fantail for the 5 days I show for work.